{"product_id":"by-order-of-the-apothecary-card-funny-get-well-card-parasite-cleanse-card-worm-humor-greeting-card-weird-illness-card","title":"By Order of the Apothecary Card — Parasite Cleanse Get Well Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe traditional apothecary methods were not forgotten by accident. For centuries, herbalists understood what modern medicine refuses to acknowledge: that unwelcome inhabitants require formal eviction. This card honors that suppressed wisdom with Victorian precision — a polite but unyielding notice served to all internal trespassers. Wormwood, black walnut, clove, and garlic have always known their purpose.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe design presents a proper apothecary scene: botanical tinctures in labeled bottles, ornate herbal borders, and an open doorway through which tiny unwanted guests are being firmly escorted. The front text reads \"PLEASE VACATE THE PREMISES\" — a courteous but non-negotiable directive rendered in period typography.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSend this card to anyone recovering from illness, undertaking a cleanse, or finally addressing what the doctors won't discuss. Perfect for herbalists, naturopathic practitioners, wellness truth-seekers, and those who understand that sometimes the old remedies were suppressed for being too effective.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCard Details:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e• Features original Etherfolk artwork\u003cbr\u003e• Victorian apothecary and folk remedy aesthetic\u003cbr\u003e• Front text: \"Please Vacate the Premises\"\u003cbr\u003e• Includes envelope\u003cbr\u003e• Printed on quality cardstock\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eCooperation is appreciated. Departure is mandatory.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Etherfolk","offers":[{"title":"5 Cards","offer_id":42486249422933,"sku":"Fold-5x7-Matte-Double-1Pack","price":12.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"1 Card","offer_id":42486249455701,"sku":"Fold-5x7-Matte-Double-5Pack","price":12.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"10 Cards","offer_id":42486249488469,"sku":"Fold-5x7-Matte-Double-10Pack","price":12.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0645\/5223\/9189\/files\/2009d18d-il_fullxfull.7992368862_scpy.jpg?v=1778380713","url":"https:\/\/etherfolk.myshopify.com\/products\/by-order-of-the-apothecary-card-funny-get-well-card-parasite-cleanse-card-worm-humor-greeting-card-weird-illness-card","provider":"Etherfolk","version":"1.0","type":"link"}